I’m motherless, fatherless, and coffeeless

The Reverend Billy leading an anti-Starbucks p...

The Reverend Billy leading an anti-Starbucks protest in Austin, Texas in 2007 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am on my second morning without coffee, and I am a tightly-wound ball of aggression.  My husband says it will take three days off the caffeine before I am back to myself, and to him I say, “Screw you, you coffee-a-holic bastard!” (sorry, Honey, that’s the addict speaking)

I seriously feel like I could rip someone’s head off, preferably someone walking out of Starbucks.  Specifically, someone walking out of Starbucks carrying tea.  You and I both know anyone who orders tea at Starbucks is a pretentious, heartless, republican! (sorry, tea drinkers and republicans, again, the addict speaking.)  I am sure Starbucks’ tea is delicious and lots of democrats drink it on a daily basis.  Also,  it fights off heart disease and various other crappy conditions, but let’s face it, it’s not COFFEE!

Here is a link to all the benefits of drinking green tea, whatever, blah, blah, blah.

http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/features/health-benefits-of-green-tea 

 For an explanation regarding my abrupt coffee withdrawal, see my post:   https://storiesformymom.wordpress.com/2012/09/10/who-is-allergic-to-lettuce/ 

For republicans, forgive me; I need a twelve-step program.  Here is a link to a republican who doesn’t scare me:

http://www.billfinkbeiner.org/

 

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6 thoughts on “I’m motherless, fatherless, and coffeeless

  1. Caryn says:

    Your brain ain’t working right, dear sister-in-law, and you therefore have your stereotypes way off. Tea drinkers = liberal voting, organic produce eating (even lettuce!), cat loving, bleedling hearts. 😉 But you are right, regardless of political afflilation, if you are drinking tea walking out of Starbucks, you should be fair game for open season high ridicule. What the hell is wrong with people?

  2. Brenda says:

    Oh Kate. You have given me another good reason not to have my allergies tested. And I surely won’t be telling you about the phenomenal soy latte that Molly made for me this morning. With freshly burr-ground beans. I can still taste it. But tea is good too!

    • Brenda, I soooo appreciate that you are supporting my blog by leaving a comment, but you are wrong, tea is not good. Don’t forget, I am also allegic to soybeans and milk, so I am screwed on the soy-latte front. BTW, your daughter was so sweet to me when she saw me at QFC the other night 🙂

  3. […] I went to yoga this morning with the intention to relax and breathe despite my coffee withdrawal symptoms.  (for info on why I am in coffee rehab, see my posts: https://storiesformymom.wordpress.com/2012/09/10/who-is-allergic-to-lettuce/ and https://storiesformymom.wordpress.com/2012/09/12/im-motherless-fatherless-and-coffeeless/ ) […]

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