Nine days ago, President Barack Obama declared November to be National Adoption Month. As an individual who was adopted, I appreciate having a month to honor me (Right now one of my distant cousins is reading this and screaming, “Holy Crap! You were adopted?”). Yes, I was adopted, and my birthday is in November, so I feel Barack had me personally in mind when he chose this time-frame to pay tribute to my life.
So, throughout this month, you should think of me often, send generous gifts, and pray for my continued health and safety. Moving forward, you can refer to the month of November as Kate-ukkah, like Hanukkah, only instead of lasting eight days, it lasts a month, and instead of being a festival of lights, it is a festival of ME. Also, I read that during Hanukkah, fried foods are eaten to commemorate the importance of oil. In this way, Kate-ukkah and Hanukkah will be similar. We will all eat fish and chips, sing songs, and leave work early to light candles.
It is only right that I have my month. After all, August is National Sandwich Month, and October is National Pet Wellness Month. National Bicycle Month is in the spring. Let’s face it; I am way better than a PB&J, a parakeet, or some rusty Schwinn.