Mona and other notes on the Louvre

During our recent trip to France, we toured the Louvre and went straight to see Mona L.  From her throne behind protective glass, she was holding court in front of several dozen admirers.  She is much smaller than you might expect and frankly, not all that impressive.  I believe her allure stems from her sly facial expression.  She definitely has s juicy secret, some major piece of gossip.  Some historians believe her secret is, “Ha, Ha, I’m really a dude.”  Some believe she is Leonardo Da Vinci himself.  I believe her secret is, “Ha, Ha, I just slept with Magellan.”

Mona L.  expert photo taken by ME!

Mona L. expert photo taken by ME!

My favorite part of the museum was counting the number of statues who had lost their penises.  I lost track in the thirties.  It is not that I can’t count to forty, but rather that I was distracted by a fourteen-year-old constantly complaining about food, a three-year-old constantly complaining about sleep, and a sixteen-year-old constantly complaining about her siblings.  I felt less bad for the men who had lost both their penis and their face.  The men whose faces were preserved are destined to an eternity of folks comments, “Oh my God, did you see Joe’s junk?”  “What a mess!”

While visiting the Louvre, I had a fantastic idea to increase traffic and raise revenue.  I think there should be a special, on-time-only, viewing where they match the statues without heads with the heads without bodies.  I know, you are thinking, “Are you crazy?  We are talking about historic artifacts here!”

Yes, I know, but I also know that I would pay extra to see Winged Victory

The Winged Victory

The Winged Victory

With one of these faces:

I am the one on the left.

I am the one on the left.

An uncanny resemblance!

An uncanny resemblance!

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One thought on “Mona and other notes on the Louvre

  1. […] Mona and other notes on the Louvre (storiesformymom.wordpress.com) […]

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