My son doesn’t like cheeseburgers, or pizza, or tacos. He doesn’t like steak, or chicken, or pork chops. He will not eat spaghetti, lasagna, ravioli, tortellini, or anything with tomatoes, except salsa. He doesn’t like things too spicy, except salsa. He doesn’t like peppers, onions, or garlic, unless they are in salsa.
Plain white rice makes him gag; plain brown rice makes him gag. Rice pilaf, wild rice, spanish rice, Yasmin, sticky, Basmati; all rice is to be avoided, except risotto covered in parmesan cheese.
Mashed potatoes are disgusting; baked potatoes are disgusting; scallop potatoes are disgusting, but he considers a plate of french fries a meal.
I am making beef stew for dinner, and my son is hiding in the family room with a giant bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats because he is already anticipating an hour of pushing carrots around on his plate.
What on earth does he eat?
Bagels. My son loves bagels. If left to his own devices, he would live off toasted bagels with cream cheese. He also has a fondness for breakfast cereal, turkey bacon, and avocados, not necessarily in that order.
So, you can see why I was SHOCKED when on our recent trip to France, my picky eater ate foie gras and LIKED it! We went on a food tour in Paris and prior to eating, the tour guide explained how the geese were force-fed by shoving figs into their beaks and stroking their necks. This feeding method encourages the geese to eat more and eventually enlarges their liver, then he showed us a giant, raw goose liver. apparently, there are meaner ways to force feed geese, which is why foie gras production is banned in California. Both my daughters and I passed on the delicacy and instead, we devoured extra cheese. My son, however, dove in and ate our portions.
“I can’t believe you are eating that.”
“It’s awesome,” he said. “I may have found my calling.”
“You are going to eat liver for a living?”
“No, I want to be the guy who strokes the geese necks. I am going to have a successful career as a goose masseuse.”
Here is my delicious almost-world-famous beef stew recipe which my son won’t eat:
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 pound of stew meat cut into cubes
2 tablespoons canola oil or other cooking oil
1 can Original V8 juice, 11.5 oz. (or some other vegetable juice which will not be as delicious as V8)
1 can Hunts diced tomatoes with basil and oregano, 14.5 oz (or some other cheap-crap brand)
1 medium onion cut into thin wedges
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 teaspoons of Better Than Bouillon beef base (or some other type of instant beef bouillon, but you will regret the substitution)
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon marjoram
black pepper and salt to taste
1 bay leaf
3 russet potatoes, peeled and cubed
2 carrots peeled and sliced
1 celery stalk, sliced
1 cup mushrooms, quartered
Here is what you do: place the meat and the flour in a plastic bag and shake to coat. In a dutch oven or large sauce pan, brown the meat and onion in the oil. Add all the ingredients up to the bay leaf. Simmer, covered, for an hour. After one hour, dump all the vegetables into the pot and simmer, covered, for another hour. Discard the bay leaf, or serve it to your husband if he is being annoying. Also, one note, make sure you don’t cube the potatoes too small or they get all starchy and weird. I quarter the potatoes and then chunk them with a fork into smaller pieces before serving.