I am not the kind of woman who obsesses over her weight. In general, I am pretty lucky, with a fairly fast metabolism, and tend to gain weight slowly, if at all. I rarely weigh myself but did hop on the scale yesterday, and discovered I had gained three pounds (FINE! I gained five pounds, you’re all so critical.)
When I told my husband I gained three (or five) pounds, he brushed me off by saying, “You hide it well.”
YOU HIDE IT WELL! You hide it well is like saying, “Yes, your are an enormous elephant, but clothes camouflage your heft.”
So I said, “Yeah! Well, you have a receding hairline, and you can’t hide that AT ALL!”
Ok, I didn’t actually say that because I didn’t think of it until right this minute, damn! What I did was take a Hershey’s bar from the cupboard, sit down next to my husband on the sofa, and proceed to slowly eat the candy. perhaps not the best strategy in hind sight.
This conversation reminded me of a similar event with my first husband. Those of you who follow my blog know that Scott died in 2005. I remember a time when I told him I had gained three pounds. His response was to laugh and say, “Three pounds? I can poop three pounds.”
OK, I know that’s gross, but it totally made me laugh, although it did not make me feel better about my weight gain.
So, I am going to try to lose my three (or five) pounds during the month of March. Exercise is not my issue; I go to the gym all the time. My issue is a rather serious candy adiction. In the past when I have decreased my candy intake, I simply increased my brownie intake, but this time I am going to attempt to eat only one serving of candy a day; that equates to five chocolate Dove Promises.
I will keep you posted on my progress, but if I fall short, you have to support me, and I don’t want to hear that all my followers had a party and placed bets on my failure. That would hurt my feelings and force me to down a bag of chocolate.