Today is my brother’s birthday. He is 875 years old. OK, he is not really 875, he just looks it. Ok, he doesn’t look 875, he just acts 875. Alright, fine, he is 47 and he looks 52 and acts 17. I hope he reads this; I am cracking myself up right now.
In honor of my brother’s birthday, I thought I would share a story about him.
Long before MTV aired its show Punked, my brother loved a good prank . When he was a senior in high school, he orchestrated a massive practical joke. First, he burned holes in an old t-shirt. Then, he strapped smoke bombs around his torso. Screaming, with smoke billowing behind him, he ran into the chemistry lab yelling, “I’m on fire!” He proceeded to pull the lever on the acid-wash shower, dowsing himself with water.
Now, this is a pretty good prank, but it didn’t end there. As a testament to the safety of the chemistry lab, but unfortunately for my brother, the acid-wash shower had never been used before. No one knew how to turn the facet off. As water gushed from the spigot, it became apparent that the drain didn’t actually work. In the end, my brother flooded the science wing.
If an eighteen-year-old attempted this prank today, he would be suspended, arrested, water-boarded, and sent to Guantanamo. In 1985, the teacher just shrugged and grabbed a mop.
So, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. You look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!