I read an article today about how Russia’s president, Putin, is concerned with his country’s low birth rates, and in an effort to get Russian men in the mood for love, he is having the group Boyz II Men perform in Moscow just before Valentine’s Day. Apparently, Putin feels confident that the singers will serenade the audience with soulful ballads, and in nine months, there will be an enormous population increase.
President Putin, I have a wayyyyyyy better idea. You must realize that China imposes limits on their citizens with their one-child policy. Certainly, you know you share a border with China. Why not open a little gate to the right of Mongolia and advertise to all the Chinese women aching for large families. Yeah, I know decades ago Mao didn’t like Khrushchev, but honestly, no one liked Khrushchev. And, yes, the gate would technically be in Siberia, but seriously, if you open it, they will come.
Putin, you are totally welcome for this wonderful idea. I probably just saved your entire county. Feel free to send me vodka.