Most nights I fall into bed and am asleep within five minutes, but sometimes I lie awake and ponder things. Last night was one of those nights where it took me awhile to fall asleep, and in that groggy period, I wondered about several things.
First of all, why is it that if you turn your heat up to seventy degrees in the winter it feels cozy, but if your house is seventy degrees in the summer it feels stuffy?
Also, what is the physics behind a ski lift? Dozens of heavy chairs are dangling by a teeny-weeny cable and then loaded with full-grown adults. How does this work? Is there a mathematical equation that ensures my precarious chair will not pluck itself off of the cable and send me hurling to my death?
Finally, I was thinking about buying new bras and that made me think about the women who work at places like Victoria’s Secret or the Nordstrom lingerie department. When you arrive at one of these places, a woman springs from behind the counter, armed with a tape measure. She wraps the tape around you here and there, and then pronounces you a 34 D. Does that woman receive training before placing judgement on my cup size? Do they all go to seminars and practice measuring each other or is it just a room full of mannequin torsos? Perhaps there is no training at all. Are they hired and given a breast measuring pamphlet and a booklet of boob propaganda, 101 Ways to Perk Up Your Lingerie Sales.
If you have answers to any of these questions, let me know ASAP. I want to be able to fall asleep quickly tonight.