I’m a terrible soccer mom

It has been over a year since my mom died, and after her passing, my brother and I had to clean out her house.  It was horrible, time-consuming work, and we were both saddled with guilt over the truck loads we sent to the landfill or off to various charities.  Surely, we should be more sentimental.  Surely, we should want the dozens of photo albums, her full set of china, her old rosary, but we didn’t.  We both had complete houses, full of all we needed.  We saw how carefully she had kept our high school Lettermans’ jackets, trophies, and ribbons.  In the end, we pitched it all.

This memory was brought to mind lately when I was asked to create a framed memory keepsake for my oldest daughter.  It is a tradition at her high school that the moms each put together a collection of soccer memories and display them at the end-of-the-year banquet.  I can’t help but think this tradition was started by one of those scrap-booking moms with loads of artistic talent and way to much time on her hands.

I told Meg that I planned to compete for worst shadow-box of all time.  In my head I keep fast forwarding forty years and seeing her cleaning out my attic and tossing the shadow box in the dump pile.  And I am OK with that because, frankly, a middle-aged woman who hangs a tribute to high-school soccer in her kitchen is kinda sad.

Still, I have to put together this testament to her years of athleticism, and I am kinda pissy about it.  My current plan is to line the frame with money.  Then, in a year I can mail it to her at college; it will have value, and won’t end up in a landfill.

Meg in the goal, 2006

Meg in the goal, 2006

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golf (with a twist)

Tiger Woods has been in the spotlight lately as he competes for his position as greatest golfer of all time.

I don’t really get the appeal of golf.  I understand the desire to play a few rounds on the weekend, hang out with friends, and possibly improve your game.  I don’t understand why anyone would watch golf on television.

Many sports have a vein of similarity.  For example, in soccer one attempts to get the ball in the net while his opponent tries to trip him.  In basketball, one attempts to get the ball in the net while his opponent tries to embarrass him with impressive maneuvering (and occasionally trip him).  In  water polo one attempts to get the ball in the net while his opponent tries to drown him.  In lacrosse one attempts to get the ball in the net while his opponent tries to elbow him in the throat.

In golf, one attempts to get the ball in the hole while his opponent silently waits on the sideline.  How is this entertaining to watch?  What would be entertaining is if Tiger Woods attempted to sink a putt while his ex-wife came flying at him with a golf club in her hand.