my fake husband

There has been a lot of buzz lately about Notre Dame football player and Heisman Trophy runner-up, Manti Te’o.  This young man apparently created a fake girlfriend with cancer.  There is some rumor that this devastating story was concocted in hopes of making Te’o more appealing in the eyes of those who place Heisman votes.

Many are irate about this hoax, but I have to say, “Manti, I totally get you.”  I have had a fake husband for twenty years.  His name is Sheldon; he does laundry naked, loves to vacuum, and never tires with long conversations about the mall, bootcut versus skinny jeans, and whether green is the new black.  He also reassures me how sassy my new haircut is, how my boobs are not nearly as droopy as I think they are, and that my cellulite is barely noticeable.

Sheldon is only in my head, but he is the best fake husband of all time.  The only thing I don’t understand is why Manti gave is fake girlfriend cancer?  I would never give Sheldon cancer.  If he was sick, who would compliment my shoes?

Manti Te’o. The irony is that my fake husband bears a striking resemblance to Manti.

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2 thoughts on “my fake husband

  1. Caryn says:

    You already have a husband….I want Sheldon!!!! Selfish ^&*#! 😉

  2. Sheldon is MINE! Get your own fake husband; just don’t give him cancer. When you go through all the work to create your fake husband, you can’t just kill ’em off.

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